Don’t get me wrong here, I love Zara and Oscar completely and I wouldn’t change my situation at all. Everyday I am thankful that I have two beautiful, healthy children. We wanted two children close together in age and we consider ourselves extremely lucky that we got exactly what we wished for

By now some of you are probably thinking “definite PND” right now but you are wrong, I’m not depressed at all, tired yes and incredibly bored yes but not depressed. I’m completely of sane mind, I’m just saying I don’t enjoy the baby stage at all.

I’m sure most people love the helpless little cute baby stage and really won’t understand me here but I didn’t have babies to HAVE babies, I had them to have children! A bit like when buying a house, a mortgage is something that comes with it even though you don’t really enjoy it. Luckily with babies the baby stage only lasts a year and not 25 though

Babies to me are too needy, they cry a lot, they never sleep, they don’t give you much back and let’s face it they are pretty boring! It’s probably why I don’t go to baby groups or hang around with other mums with babies, I’m just not interested in what their little darlings have done, I don’t want to cuddle their babies. I have enough looking after my own thank you very much!

Of course I always do the fawning over new baby thing etc because that’s what’s expected right? I can’t really say no thanks when someone shoves their newborn baby in my arms, I can’t really tell them that their darling child is actually a bit freaky looking can I? And before anyone says anything Oscar has sticky out ears, his heads a funny shape and his hair grows into a Mohican (but he is mine so I can say that at least )

I feel guilty for wishing away the first year of Oscar’s life but I can’t help feeling that way. With Zara the first year had a certain novelty value to it but now I know just how much fun it becomes when they are a little older, I just want to press the fast forward button and be there now!

I have loved the last six months with Zara, now this age I really, really love. I could spend all day playing with Zara, she is so much fun and learning so much. Her communication skills are amazing and it is so nice to be able to have a conversation with her. I can’t wait until Oscar is a little older and can give something back in the same way.

Do I feel guilty that I’d much rather spend my time with Zara at the moment than with Oscar? Of course I do! I know Oscar will never remember this period in his life though and I felt the same about Zara too at this age. It doesn’t alter the fact that we have a wonderful bond and that she has turned into a beautiful, intelligent little girl though I’m sure once Oscar gets a little older the same will happen with him and the fun part of being a family of four will really start

So there we have it I don’t like babies! I’m not depressed, not a freak, not unkind, not a bad mother, not cold, not heartless…I just don’t LIKE babies!

PS Photos in this post were taken by my lovely sister Sonia Thorpe Photography